For someone who had always give two pots about having her birthday celebrated, waking up to it feeling no distinction from every other day wore me down.Yes, it did. I remember being a student in UiTM, a member of a society called Catholic Students (CSS), for 3 whole years, staying with a bunch of fellow Borneans; birthdays were always celebrated. When possible, they're celebrated in a big way. Otherwise, it's just really foul-smelling liquid (a mash-up of onions, rotten egg, belacan, unwashed soaked stockings, etc.) usually, at 12.00am on the dot. HA HA.
Whatever it is, it is celebrated. The person is celebrated. People around you take the effort to make you feel different in a good way on your birthday, be it in a big or small way, just so that day doesn't feel like 'any other day.' And I've never really appreciated that until now... Now that I don't have that crew of people to do that to me anymore.
Even before that stage of life, my family and friends back at home would always managed to get around to at least have meals together. Our usual for birthdays and celebrations would be the Yu Kee Bak Kut Teh in Gaya Street (THE BEST).
So, for me, birthdays are a big deal. I believe that no one should ever be too old to celebrate it. That was why when I went to bed two nights ago, a yearning set in. I just wanted so bad to celebrate it. Woke up the next day, the yearning is still there.
Instead of letting that feeling ate me up, I put on a bright attitude, played OMC's How Bizarre on loud speaker and started dancing to it. I felt good. I thought to myself, "It's not how it is celebrated. It is how YOU celebrate yourself." So my believe shifted; it really is about the kind of attitude you bring into the day.
My mother-in-law got me a lovely purple comforter as a gift. My mother reloaded phone credit. I got a note from my husband (which was special coz he never writes to me *smiles*), I received calls from my brother, sisters (Sam was just sobbing on the phone, sad that it's my birthday yet she can't celebrate it with me. Sigh...), mother, and from my best friends. And more virtual wishes via Facebook.
But the most memorable moment of my birthday this year, was when my father, practically 'estranged', sent me a text message, saying;
"Mommy told me that it's your BIRTHDAY TODAY. I'm sorry I never give you any present, but my love and prayer goes to you, dear daughter."
And I immediately teared up... I wasn't sure if it was the frustration for feeling frustrated with Micah prior to that SMS, or the fact that I was kind of down for not being 'celebrated'. But I just cried and cried for a while. That was really something. That was everything. My father, who never wished me anything despite already having 24 birthdays, remembered, and wished me... Priceless.
Knowing the person my father is, it must have taken him a lot of courage and ego pushed aside for him to even wish me. So to me, this one is more than anything I could ever wish for. Bless you, Pa. =)
All in all, it's a typical yet meaningful birthday. It was no hu-ha, but I appreciate it just the way it was. Although really foul-smelling liquid (a mash-up of onions, rotten egg, belacan, unwashed soaked stockings, etc.) usually, at 12.00am on the dot, would have been nice. Ha ha.