Monday, October 25, 2010

Exhausted

I've been exhausted.. Physically and emotionally.. I feel like every single ounce of energy in my body had drained out.. I feel like shutting down for a while..

Saturday, October 16, 2010

A LOL-Worthy Part of My Life

It's another public holiday today (TYT's birthday) and here I am in the office, apparently 'looking' for news. Actually, it's more of waiting for news, as in waiting for something newsworthy to happen.

My son Micah is with his dad. What I want more is to go home and just be lazy in front of the TV. But what is more likely to happen if I am to go home is, me screaming bloody murder every 10 minutes or so, freezing at the end of my nerve-system from fear of Micah swallowing dirt/cologne/whatever he's picked up off the floor. Or, me running around the house trying to stop Micah before he lands his foot on the slippery surface of the toilet, or trying to prevent him from jumping off beds or sofas or tables or... anything else hazardous. And the best part is, me trying to enjoy the spot or seat I just took and having have to get up every 3 minutes over and over again, never actually being able to cherish the comfort I managed to steal in the split second Micah decided to sit still. Yup... The joys of being a mother...

It's Saturday and I want so bad to rest. I could use a break. But Saturday or not, public holiday or not, I'll never be able to rest ever again. Thanks to being a journalist and a mother, both of which are full time jobs. Ha ha.

Like my wise Aunt Maria said, "You made the choice now live with it!" which she ended with a "LOL".

I guess it is more torturing than it is funny. Why put a "LOL" to it? I guess it is a lil funny. Funny in a sense that it is sometimes unbelievable how people make the choices they do and then later complaint and whine about their lives, not realizing how they ARE the sum of their choices. The funniest part is, they blame fate or God - whichever applies according to their respective beliefs - for it.

Am I complaining? I hate to admit it, but I guess, this is sort of complaining. I am complaining of having have to work on holidays when I know from the beginning that this is part and parcel of journalism profession, but I agreed to become one anyway and even claimed (in an excited and passionate tone, if I'm recalling it right) that, "I love this job!" Ha ha. And, i am complaining about being tired from motherhood when I know from the very beginning that sex means producing babies and that babies are known to be... occupying. Ha ha.

*smirks*

We are the sum of of our choices. And when I say that, it doesn't necessarily sound bitter or negative.. I AM proud of what I've become. Which doesn't necessarily mean that I AM proud of all the choices I made. There are certain choices that I wished I had chosen the other path. But deciding to be a journalist and a mother, are ones that I know I wouldn't have had any other way. No matter how occupying these roles are. LOL.